Lost In Previews:Grotesque, Sexy & Greedy with Salt on top

I was feeling two things tonight: bored and snarky. So I am bringing you plenty of new trailers to keep you busy for the next week, hopefully. I would love your input on these trailers too. Do you want to see one more than the rest, do you agree with my snarkyness on some of them? Just let me know at the bottom.

Sex and the City 2

Okay, I had to start with my guilty pleasure. Yes, I saw the first one, twice and yes I own the box set of the show. Now that we have that out of the way, we can get onto the glittery stuff. I loved the first film, I thought it put a really nice cap on the lives of the women from the show. When I heard about a second film I just thought they were being greedy. However, after seeing the second trailer for the film now, I am still pretty excited to see it. I know that this will be a fun ride to just sit back, relax and do some virtual shopping via the theater screen. The story takes place two years after the first film, everyone is still happy and alive and the four girls decide to take a free trip to Morocco courtesy of Samantha’s ex, Smith, although he is not seen in the trailer. It appears that half way across the world, Carrie will run into her old flame (my favorite) Aidan and hit it off, maybe too much. It also looks like Charlotte is feeling the pressure of being the perfect Mom and is about to crack. I’m sure it will all work out in the end though. SATC2 opens in theaters Thursday, May 27th.

Jonah Hex

Jonah Hex is another comic book turned movie. This one stars Josh Brolin as the western antihero, Jonah, who has his face badly disfigured by a mad man named Turnbull, played by the great John Malkovich; Oh yeah, and Megan Fox is in it too. She appears to be playing a whore, a joke here would be too easy. I’ve got to say the film looks pretty bad-ass. I will see anything with John Malkovich, and I mean anything. I know if he joined the group, that the script had great potential. The special effects look to be pretty believe, as well as the sound and the soundtrack on the trailer will get you pumped. I would say they have a pretty good mix here, as long as it doesn’t get too cheesy. I do love a good revenge story. Jonah Hex opens in theatres June 18th.

http://d.yimg.com/m/up/ypp/movies/player.swf

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

This is a sequel to the 1987 Wall Street from Director, Oliver Stone. When I went back and watched the original about six months ago, I thought to myself, “how are they going to make a sequel from that?” I mean Michael Douglas just (spoiler alert) goes to prison, so when he gets out, all of his contacts would be long gone, or just not want anything to do with him, and everybody hates Charlie Sheen now, so why would we sit and watch him? Now there has been two trailers out for this and the teaser trailer proved me wrong right away. It proves to be pretty bad-ass. Here is the second trailer which is more in depth into the story of Wall Street 2. Gordon Gecko (Michael Douglas) gets out of prison and everything has changed. He has a daughter, played by the beautiful Carey Mulligan and Shia LaBeouf, as Jacob Moore, comes along and wants to marry her. Now there is going to be some turmoil between Jacob and Gecko and it will be a battle of wits with a lot of money in the mix. For some reason, the plot reminds me of The Devil’s Advocate, which I also love. This film will also have Josh Brolin as well as Frank Langella in it. The trailer got me going, I mean you can’t go wrong with ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ by The Stones in anything. This film opens in theatres on September 24th.

Salt

So, I think everyone knows by now that the role of Evelyn Salt, played by Angelina Jolie was originally scripted as a man named Edwin Salt and was offered to Tom Cruise. He turned it down for reasons of the character being too similar to his Ethan Hunt on Mission Impossible films, or because he was too busy with his craziness. Either way, the film is still too much like a Mission Impossible film. Just because you change the lead to a girl does not mean anything. I also feel like I’ve seen Jolie do this part too many times: Wanted, Tomb Raider, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I guarantee there will be a sequel name or a man that she meets with the last name of “Pepper.” Can I just say that Jolie looks terrible in the stupid blonde wig? I mean she hasn’t looked that fake since her role in that lame movie, Life or Something Like it. I will give Jolie props, she apparently did most of the stunts herself. I’m just really hoping that the story holds up and throws a wrench in there. Salt opens in theatres July 23rd.

Beastly

Um, can you say Beauty and the Beast for the High School Musical crowd? This films stars Alex Pettyfer as the perfect Kyle, Vanessa Hudgens as the caring Lindy and Mary-Kate Olsen as the “ugly” evil witch. So, Kyle is a pompous asshole, who skates by on his good looks, until he pisses off the goth girl. Ooh, the Olsen girl has gone bad! She casts a spell on him to be ugly until someone can love him for what he is, and not his looks; he has one year, and then I guess he’s stuck like that. Along comes Vanessa Hudgens as the one girl in the world who has a heart and can see through tree roots on the guy’s face and his absence of hair and love him for him. Lucky for him, she is also beautiful. I would suspect that this will come down to the last minute with Kyle lying out in the rain on a dark night about to end it, or die or something and she whispers, “I love you” and poof! he turns back into the stud muffin he once was. Only now, he has learned his lesson and will love her forever. The End. Beastly opens in theatres July 30th.

The Scientist

Okay, now were talking. This is all the way, art-house indie and I love these kind of films. The film stars Bill Sage, who you might know more from T.V. than movies. This is just a teaser, so here is what IMDB says:

The Scientist follows a brilliant physicist, Dr. Marcus Ryan (Bill Sage), who anguishes over the tragic death of his wife and daughter while secretly constructing a mysterious energy generator in his basement. The multi-dimensional energy unleashed by the machine triggers a series of events that propels Ryan toward a higher level of consciousness. Written by A.J.

So, from the trailer, it looks to be one of those films that will rack your brain with possibilities. It will probably get a little sci-fi, but that can be awesome, or terrible depending on the direction it takes. From this teaser it looks to be the former. For some reason, it reminds me of Altered States, which is a spectacular sci-fi, mind-altering trip of a film from 1980, starring William Hurt. If you are in the mood for something that will twist your brain, in a good way, go rent that one. The Scientist has opened as of April 16th in limited cities. Look for a wider release soon, hopefully.

Ondine

Good for you Colin! Finally doing more films with your own, beautiful accent. If anyone saw In Bruges, you know now how much talent Colin Farrell has and just how charming he sounds when he speaks. This is an interesting fairytale sort of story about a fisherman named Syracuse, Farrell, who catches a woman in his nets and believes her to be a mermaid. There is a little girl that serves as the means for the audience to receive the story as she keeps asking Syracuse, “what’s the story.” This supposed mermaid woman goes by the name, Ondine and is played by Alicja Bachleda. I am looking forward to this, because I always enjoy these type of films where fantasy blends with reality. Let me know what you think. Ondine opens in theatres June 4th.

Survival of the Dead

I have saved the goriest for last: the red-band trailer for Survival of the Dead. George A. Romero, need I say more? Okay, I will. It’s another zombie film where humans are the minority, following the events of Diary of the Dead.Off the coast of Delaware sits the cozy Plum Island where two families are locked in a struggle for power, as it has been for generations.  The O’Flynn’s, headed by patriarch Patrick O’Flynn (Kenneth Welsh) approach the zombie plague with a shoot-to-kill attitude.  The Muldoons, headed by Shamus Muldoon (Richard Fitzpatrick), feel that the zombies should be quarantined and kept ‘alive,’ in hopes that a solution will someday be found. The O’Flynn’s, who are clearly outnumbered, are forced to exile Patrick by boat to the mainland, where he meets up with a band of soldiers, headed by Guardsman Sarge (Alan Van Sprang). They join forces and return to the island, to find that the zombie plague has fully gripped the divided community. As the battle between humans and zombies escalates, the master filmmaker continues to reinvent the modern horror genre with wicked humor and pointed social commentary. Survival of the Dead premieres on VOD, Amazon, Xbox Zune and Playstation April 30 and will be in theaters on May 28th .

http://media.ign.com/ev/embed.swf

by Angela Davis